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Pokémon You Could Never Own IRL: Magcargo's Heat and Wailord's Size, Debated

リアルじゃ絶対飼えないポケモンに日本のファンが本気で考察

Pokémon
Pokémon You Could Never Own IRL: Magcargo's Heat and Wailord's Size, Debated
“Honestly there are probably fewer Pokémon you CAN keep than ones you can't.”

飼えるポケモンの方が少なそう…

— @ゆらちゃ-706

Pokémon fans in Japan worked out which species would be impossible to keep as a real pet, and the Pokédex makes it brutal. The thread weighed Magcargo's 10,000-degree body, Wailord's size and Snorlax's grocery bill, joking that everyone in that world is just built different. Then someone names the obvious fix.

This titleJapanese reactions to PokémonRead all 3 roundups on the title page
Japanese fans riffing on which Pokémon would be impossible to actually keep as pets. （YouTube · メタモンの反応集【ポケモン】）

Japanese fan reactions (excerpted from 177)

  • When you read the Pokédex entries some of them are clearly impossible to keep, yet in-game people just casually own them. I'm starting to think the Pokédex is lying.

    図鑑説明見ると絶対飼えないだろってのでもゲーム内で普通に飼ってる奴いるよね 図鑑説明嘘なんじゃねぇの

    — @user-pr3dq5xy3u243 likes

  • It's because everyone in that world is basically a super-powered Pallet Town person.

    あの世界の人が全員スーパーマサラ人なんやで

    — @たらこスパゲティ-w8e7s39 likes

  • They evolved while surviving among all those monsters, so the humans in that world are probably way smarter or way stronger than real humans.

    あんな化け物ばかりの中で生き残って進化してきたんだしあの世界の人間は現実の人間よりめちゃくちゃ賢いかめちゃくちゃ強いのかも

    — @おれ-------------------------823 likes

  • It's a miracle civilization even survives in a world this full of monsters.

    こんな魑魅魍魎だらけの世界で文明が続いてるのが奇跡

    — @hartknight317310 likes

  • Gotta say Slugma and Magcargo. Fine if you've got a hearth, but without one your house might just burn down lol

    マグマッグ、マグカルゴかなぁ 竈があれば良いけど、無かったら家が燃えるかも（汗）

    — @緑のきな粉餅113 likes

  • Magcargo's body temp is around 10,000 degrees, so keeping it as a pet isn't even on the table.

    マグカルゴの体温約一万度だから飼う以前の問題だ

    — @zk-2263 likes

  • Magcargo, aka a literal natural disaster.

    マグカルゴとかいう災害

    — @0400_QROCK5 likes

  • There'd probably be super strict laws for owning fire types. Flame-resistant building materials, or having to keep a water type alongside them.

    ほのおタイプを飼う時とかめちゃくちゃ厳しい法令とかありそう 難燃性の建材とか水タイプと同時に飼うとか

    — @07kamahata4077 likes

  • Whimsicott would be a nightmare for shedding, and you'd suddenly find grass growing in your bathroom.

    エルフーン毛の処理大変そうだし気づいたら脱衣所とかに草とか生えてそう

    — @オトケ117 likes

  • It'd cover your whole room in fluff and then leave with a big smile... you little troublemaker...!!

    部屋をわたげまみれにして笑顔で去っていくんでしょ……！あなたという子は……！！

    — @ruri-iroha3 likes

  • The worst are the bug Pokémon. Bugs that size crawling around the house? No way I could handle that.

    1番きついのは虫ポケよ あのサイズの虫が這い回るとか耐えられる気がしない

    — @パーモット本黒虎4 likes

  • I present the undisputed winner: W A I L O R D.

    優勝する奴出します ホ　エ　ル　オ　ー

    — @stars_mold64 likes

  • Bro you are just way too big.

    お前はデカすぎんだよ

    — @HarumakiimakareeX10 likes

  • Lord Snorlax is so soothing it physically and mentally blows away all those downsides. But to keep one IRL you'd need an absurdly huge house and infinite food, so step one: become a billionaire.

    カビゴン様はその三重苦を精神的にも物理的にもふっ飛ばすぐらい癒しなんですよ でもリアルで飼うとしたらバカデカい家と無限の食料がいるのでまずは大富豪になりましょう

    — @カビゴン-s7u47 likes

  • Hey!! Dedenne, you stole the electricity again, didn't you!! ...Tch.

    こら！！デデちゃんまた盗電したでしょ!! チッ…

    — @駄犬ルカ44 likes

  • Even among electric types, Yamper feels totally keepable. Maybe it's just the image of Sonia's and Chloe's ones.

    電気タイプでもワンパチは普通に飼えそうな気がしてる ソニアさんやコハルちゃんちの子のイメージがあるからかもだけど

    — @すもも-g3q3c8 likes

  • When you think about it, Rowlet really is the MVP. There's no reason you couldn't keep one.

    そう考えるとやっぱモクローは優秀よな、飼えない理由がない

    — @minminmac82 likes

  • Rowlet doesn't seem like much trouble. Just give it a bag to sleep in and you're basically set.

    モクローはそんな大変じゃなさそう寝床のカバンだけ用意すれば何とかなりそう

    — @最高裁-u7q5 likes

  • Grass and Normal types are the safe picks.

    くさとノーマルは安全

    — @アオスケ-a12 likes

  • Sprigatito or Lucario seem easy to keep, and honestly the smart ones might even help with the chores.

    ニャオハとかルカリオなら普通に飼えそう、なんなら家事も簡単なヤツなら手伝ってくれそうまである

    — @とっとこハス太郎-t7n10 likes

  • The Eeveelutions are super popular, but the only ones you could realistically keep at home are Espeon and Sylveon, right? Could you manage Vaporeon with a giant tank?

    ブイズとか大人気だけど、家で飼えそうなのエーフィとニンフィアくらいだよね シャワーズは巨大な水槽あればいけるのかな？

    — @くま太郎-e8l24 likes

  • Vaporeon melts away whenever it gets the chance, Flareon's body temp is too high, Jolteon will zap you, Espeon maybe works?, Umbreon evolves from friendship so there's a chance?, Leafeon seems peaceful, Glaceon freezes you when it's mad so that's rough, Sylveon might charm you into a daze... yeah, maybe just stick with Eevee.

    シャワーズは隙あらばとけてるし ブースターは体温高すぎるし サンダースは電撃喰らっちゃうし エーフィはいけそう？ ブラッキーはなつき進化だしワンチャン？ リーフィアも平和そう グレイシアは怒ったら凍らされるからきついし ニンフィアはメロメロにさせられてしまう？ やっぱイーブイがいいかも

    — @えなめる_enamel8 likes

  • Umbreon's poison sweat is scary, and being nocturnal would be a problem for working adults and students. And the Pokédex says Leafeon has a really strong grass smell.

    ブラッキーは毒の汗が怖いな、夜行性てのも社会人学生にはネックになりそう リーフィアは図鑑説明によると草の匂いがきついらしい

    — @もちもちお-s4u6 likes

  • Read Bewear's Pokédex entry and there's no way you'd ever keep one.

    キテルグマの図鑑説明見たらとても飼えたもんじゃない

    — @虎党のプリン体0 likes

  • Just leave it in a Poké Ball, problem solved. Though friendship evolution gets a little tricky that way.

    モンスターボールに入れとけば良いまぁなつき進化だとちょいときついかあれは

    — @アリサノヴァ6663 likes

  • When you put it that way, the Poké Ball is an absurdly genius invention.

    そう考えるとモンスターボールってとんでもない有能な発明だな

    — @ニソ-y8t0 likes
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